


Sunshine

by suffolkgirl



Series: Season 3 Lee one-shots [3]
Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:27:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24803881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suffolkgirl/pseuds/suffolkgirl
Summary: In Lee's dreams, the sun is always shining.
Relationships: Lee "Apollo" Adama/Anastasia "Dee" Dualla, Lee "Apollo" Adama/Kara "Starbuck" Thrace
Series: Season 3 Lee one-shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787194
Kudos: 15





	Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2007 after seeing the episode Maelstrom. Companion piece to Expectations.

In Lee’s dreams, the sun is always shining.

It’s what he misses most since the world ended, the warmth of sunshine on his face. Even the artificial substitute of Cloud Nine is long gone now.

So it’s a blazing summer’s day as he sits on the grass and leans back against the wall of his mother’s house. He tips back his head, closing his eyes against the glare, and savours the heat beating down on his skin.

“Still a fanatical sun-worshipper, Lee? You don’t change.”

He opens his eyes and smiles, turning his head to look at her. “I’m just living up to my call sign, Kara.”

Kara smiles in return, leaning back against the wall lazily. Her feet are bare and her hair is long and tangled. Her smile is relaxed and her eyes are clear and untroubled. A Kara he hasn’t seen for a very long time, since before Zak died.

“But you don’t fly any more, Lee.”

“No.” He digs his fingers into the grass. “I needed a break.”

“So you chose Baltar’s trial as a rest cure?” She laughs. “Really, Lee, only you would find therapy in becoming a lawyer.”

Her laugh is infectious, and he can’t help smiling back. “Whatever works.”

Her eyes sober, and she reaches out to put a hand over his. It’s as warm and real as the sun on his face. “You’re better off without me, you know. I’ve done enough to frak up your life.”

Lee grins wryly. “You think I need you to frak up my life? I was frakking it up perfectly well all by myself long before I ever met you, you know.”

Kara smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “But I didn’t help.”

Lee can’t deny it, because it’s true. It’s not the whole picture though. It never was.

“We had some good times too.” He turns his hand upwards to grasp hers. “Remember?” 

It works. Kara chuckles. “I remember. Face it, your life would have been much more boring without me.” A grin splits her face at the memories. “Just think, without me you’d never have played strip triad. Or tried an Aerilon Blaster. Or become familiar with the inside of the brig at two in the morning.” 

Lee looks at her quizzically. “And this is how you made my life  _ better _ ? As far as I remember, none of those occasions turned out particularly well for me.”

“Come on, Lee.” Her eyes are dancing wickedly. “You had fun while it lasted.”

Again, he can’t deny it. He sighs, his hand tightening around hers.

“I miss those days, Kara. I miss you.”

The laughter dies out of her face and she turns to look at him. “Lee, it wasn’t your fault. You shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“I’m not-” The look on her face stops his denial in its tracks.

“Lee. Come on. I know you. I know you’ve been beating yourself up over this ever since you came back without me.”

Lee stares down at the grass, biting his lip. “You only flew that day because of me, Kara. Because I told you to trust me. And I let you down.” He tries to pull his hand away from hers, but she won’t let him.

“No, you didn’t,” she says harshly. “My feet were on that road long before I ever met you. Nothing you did would have changed that.”

“But-”

“No, Lee. Stop it. Stop frakking blaming yourself. I won’t let you.” Her fingers grasp his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. “Promise me.”

“Kara-”

“Promise me.” Her eyes are fierce and implacable, and he promises. 

“Good.” She releases his chin and leans back against the wall, but her eyes are still watching him sharply. “And you’d better frakking stick to that. If you don’t, I swear I’ll come back and haunt you.”

“Anything but that,” murmurs Lee lightly, but her words have had an effect; he can feel the burden of guilt he has carried all these weeks beginning to drain away.

“I mean it,” says Kara. She’s still watching him suspiciously, and Lee smiles sadly.

“I know. I just...I just wish everything had turned out differently, that’s all.”

Kara’s eyes soften in understanding. She smiles. “Maybe everything will turn out better next time.”

“Next time?”

“Don’t you remember, Lee?  _ All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again. _ ”

Lee sits upright, looking at her curiously. “So does that mean you were right after all? The gods do exist?”

Kara shakes her head, grinning smugly. “Uh-uh, Lee. I’m not telling you that. You can damn well wait and find out when it’s your turn, just like everyone else.” She stretches lazily against the wall. “I just mean that next time around...maybe we’ll do things differently. Maybe we won’t screw everything up. Screw us up.”

“Maybe,” says Lee. It’s a nice thought, but…but it just doesn’t seem like  _ them _ .

He meets her eyes and realises she’s thinking exactly the same thing. 

“But maybe not!” they gasp in unison as they both start chuckling.

When their laughter dies away, Lee reaches out to touch her cheek gently. “Next time?”

Her hand reaches up to cover his and she nods. “Next time. But now you have to let go.”

“I know.” He does. He bites down on his lip, holding back the tears. He wants to remember her smiling. “But Kara? One more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Next time around, can you let me win at strip triad?”

Her answering laughter and the sunshine mingle, so dazzling he has to close his eyes against it.

\----

“Lee?”

He opens his eyes, blinking, to find Dee smiling down at him.

“Good morning,” she says, brushing a hand over his cheek.

“Yes,” he says, after a moment. “Yes, it is.” And for the first time in a long time, it’s true. He can tell that Dee sees it in the way her smile changes.

He’s finally let go, but now he realises his hands are still full. 

He reaches up to kiss Dee, and as their lips meet, he can still feel the warmth of the sun on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Now I know how the series ends, maybe this also works for how Lee deals with Kara's final disappearance. Maybe.


End file.
